A swift half after work has been a staple right for many an office worker but the bar world has become a daunting experience. The increase in craft breweries and the revelations of the multitude of beer styles on offer is making the choice overwhelming.
“Just the one i say to myself every-time, but it never happens, I just can’t choose”
Adam Shipford (37), Crewells.
Adam is like many, faced with the over-sized billboard of beers, his eyes dart left to right looking through the long list.
“It used to be so simple, the steely eyed bartender would crush my hopes and dreams of a fruity number and the words would just fall from my lips” –
“Pint of Lager please”
Now with a plethora of options, Adam is now faced with a new problem, the ever increasing issue sweeping the nation, the Netflix problem.
Spoiled for choice, he can spend hours searching for the right film or in this case the right beer. He knows his favourite show (lager) is always there but also the shame of ordering it once again is just too great. The helpful staff try to nudge him in the right direction and he eventually settles on a new drink, of their choice.
“Our large selection is designed to confuse, thats the point. Like kids in a Fairgroud, we want to bamboozle, bewilder and get as much money as we can from punters”
Tim Hands, Iron Glove Brewing.
Tim (goes by the nickname Tiny) decides to give No Holds Beard an Industry secret, Tiny adds
“We’ve only got the one beer and f*ck ton of food colouring, we’re practically printing our own money now. The freedom of choice is an illusion, bright lights and big bucks, BIG BUCKS”
Adam, like many others, will quietly sip this beer for the next 20 minutes and eventually get over the initial sour taste and gains the courage to order his next beer. This time with confidence and vigor, he knows the Pub layout, he has seem others come in, order and even pay with ease, he now knows the self proclaimed “system”. He’ll now order his next beer; not on taste, style or aroma as the staff had hoped, but on the fact that he can pronounce it, the true British way, ease over desire.
Adam like many others will continue to watch reruns of Always Sunny on Netflix and never deviate from his new found “favourite and pronouncable” beer as the ever increase beer choice or illusion of choice grows.
Iron Glove Brewing est 2017 was founded by Tim “Tiny” Hands after a court settlement won him a sizable amount of money. The case between Tim concluded that his massive hands were too big for The Woolworths own brand gloves, they just weren’t “one size fits all”.
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